Speaking from the heart.

Setback- how do we deal with it..? Set-back's can be frustrating. Frustrating as hell. We've all felt a feeling of defeat, or like we've been suddenly stopped by a blockade in the road, interrupting our dreams, ambitions, hustles, etc. at some point in time. It sucks. Truly. I'm not going to sugarcoat it- this hurts. Big time.

/ / /

A little less than two weeks ago was my first week of sophomore year, and I had done tons of intention + goal setting, setting my mindset in the right place to begin another school-year, prepared for it all. Even morning of the first day, I was in really positive mood, although a little nervous, as most are day one. And, the first week concluded and let me say it straight up: I was so drained. My heart hurt.

/ / /

I am someone who thrives off of environments. If I'm placed in a negative, restrictive space for the majority of my day, 5 days a week, my energy and happiness are going to be affected. And they were. After that first week, I felt negative, exhausted, and overall frustrated. I went from having my own schedule to work on my passions and hustles, fill my time with things and people who bring me joy, and have as much me time as needed, to all of a sudden being forced in this building for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. It struck me weird.. Like zam!, girl, your entire schedule is now altered. I was like woah. Hol' up.

So, day by day I’ve been navigating this feeling, trying to figure out the stem of it. Kind of pondering; ‘Why is my energy so different while in school versus out..?’ And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the environment. Not the people- I have amazing friends surrounding me, and I really love my teachers this year. It’s the environment, its the structure. Its a feeling of restriction and conformity, is the best way I can articulate it. And so, I’ve done lots of thinking, journaling, prayer on this thought process and I’ve found that I’ve found forgotten what I came into this year with. I came into this school year with clear visions, goals and a clear mindset ~ and I had completely forgotten all of those through the highs and lows of the first week. Isn’t it crazy how us humans do this so often? We get consumed in what is “wrong” or not as we originally planned it, and we almost instantly lose control of our mindset. I’m guilty girl. So guilty! I feel things extremely deeply, so this makes sense, but I’m truly working on letting my mind be my compass. Our heads are powerful spaces my love, and we can really forget that in the midst of things.. <3

I’m learning to be more like a sunflower. Yes, I know, that sounds strange, but hear me out. Did you know that sunflowers turn towards the sunlight? Seriously- that’s the cutest, purest thing I’ve ever read. They naturally TURN towards the light! Towards the warmth! I heard this somewhere and ever since I’ve been obsessed with them. I think we all have something to learn from sunflowers.. ~

So ladies (and dudes) - that’s my spill of all the feels. Just some of the things that have been on my mind :) If anything stuck with you from this post, let it be that: you are exactly where you need to be. Even if you’re not fully where you wanna be at in the end game, turn towards that light, because I promise you- it is there!, and remind yourself that even when you don’t feel it- you. are. growing. And that I’m so proud of you. Keep your head up. Keep smiling. I wuv you!

/ / /

Xx

-j